Clans of medieval enthusiasts attempted to dispatch one another at a straw amphitheatre in Carshalton.

MacMillan nurses watched nervously from the sidelines as baying spectators gathered for a tournament known as the gantry of death.

The event, which may not appeal instantly to the health and safety brigade, required agile teams to pass an assortment of swinging weaponry.

Their objective was to complete the course in the shortest time, with competitors wounded by demolition balls having to return gingerly to the start-line.

Organiser David Gilders did at least ensure strict rules applied to the four clans – Druid Drogs, Grasslanders, Flybee Knights and the Ivan Hoes.

He said: “Weapons were only allowed to swing. Any pushing or spinning of the weapons could cause serious injury and would have resulted in the disqualification of the offending clan.

“The medieval event went extremely well, with more than 70 people from Carshalton dressed in a variety of medieval kit.

“The amphitheatre was laid out with the use of 20 bales of straw, positioned in a circle, with medieval banners flying between. A tent was erected and Khadj, a local soothsayer, explained the future.”

Other highlights included a saracen jousting event – protective bobble hats were provided for entrants – axe throwing, medieval sack bonding and hobby reindeer racing.

Busty wenches fed the masses with spit-roasted meat and pea and ham soup, served in stone plates and drinking vessels. Guests with more specialised dietary requirements had been asked to cater for themselves.

Want to become a member of a clan?

Druid Drogs – An industrious and feisty clan living in peace in Drogley, near Liverpool. After repeated attacks from the Flybees, elders have considered seeking the services of a freelance knight.

Flybee Knights – Small clan of honey-makers, whose elders are all injured or retired knights practicing bee-keeping. Women members, using the skin soothing properties of honey, typically have flawless complexions, making them more attractive to surrounding men. This has apparently caused some unrest.

Grasslanders (Catholics) – A large and progressive clan, led by the strong-willed Greengrass, which has grown through its cultivation of the land. Living in open areas, they have been vulnerable to attack from rivals.

Ivan Hoes – Farm workers at Ivan’s Castle, specialising in weeding with a purpose-made, long-handled implement. The women are described as very strong and good fun, with hearty laughs that are more “ho, ho, ho”

than “ha-ha-ha”.