Things a relationship supposedly gives you, which I can get for myself and hence why I don't actually need a relationship:

LOVE - As much as I'm going to sound like I've become a complete Self-Help section loser by saying this, I wouldn't actually mind figuring out how to love myself for what would probably be the first time in my life, and not sidelining my self-esteem under the deluded impression that what someone else thinks of me is more important

COMPANIONSHIP - I have friends - amazing friends - who love me, make me laugh and who are far more likely to stay in my life. I can share my life, my worries, my good news, my bad news and my latest pathetic jokes with them, and share in theirs, without having to worry about what I say and without fear of sabotaging my relationship with them in some way

SOMEONE TO GO OUT WITH - Again, my lovely friends. Who wouldn't go off me if they saw me at my drunken worst, or if I threw up all over their shoes. I'm not saying they'd be happy about it, mind you.....

SEX - I think about sex for roughly three minutes a year, so I can't exactly say my current lack thereof is much of a problem. And also, am I likely to miss having to be naked in front of someone? That'll be a no.

POTENTIAL MARRIAGE/CHILDREN - Ugh. Just no.

SOMEONE TO GO ON HOLIDAY WITH - A moot point, whether I'm single or not. Like I can even afford to go on holiday

SOMEONE TO SPOIL YOU - I am fully capable (to a degree at least, given my meagre salary) of spoiling myself. And oh, how I very much intend to. Even better, I like what I buy me - there's no danger of having to feign joy over something I hate.

SOMEONE TO CUDDLE UP ON THE SOFA WITH - My arse shouldn't be on the sofa - get thee to a gym!

When I started that list, I was pretty sure I'd come up with more "benefits" of having a partner than that. But that appears to be all I can think of. This meagre little list of good points, all of which seem quite easily fulfillable (I'm too tired to check whether or not that's actually a word) by myself, seems to be all that relationships, as I understand them, have to recommend them.

Quad erat demonstratum, I suppose