- Every day, some new part of my body aches

- I hate most teenagers

- Is it me or does fashion really suck at the moment?

- Having spent two nights on a mate's sofa this weekend, getting into my own bed last night was the greatest bliss I've known in months

- I'd rather go to Homebase than have sex

- I find myself repeatedly saying "You're welcome(!)" if I let someone go past me and they don't say thank you

- Or if they push in front of me, or don't get out of the way, I just sigh. Loudly.

- At a gig I went to on Friday, although I stood quite happily at the front, instead of the relative peace and quiet of the bar, I still rolled my eyes and thought "oh please" each time I saw someone crowd-surfing

- The last three times I've got drunk, it's been in someone's living room

- The idea of starting a collection of cats is becoming increasingly appealing

- I'm actually looking forward to spending next week in Dartmouth with my parents