Recently, an obese eight-year-old boy narrowly avoided being taken into care, amid pledges from his mother that she would do her very best to bring her son's weight to a safer level.

A similar story can be found on this very website, about a nine year old girl named Samantha Hames, who weighs in at a eye-popping 14 stone. She has sent three beds to their splintery doom, and confesses that the only thing she lives for is chocolate. Well, that, and her usual daily diet of sausages, burgers, chips, baked beans, mashed potatoes, hot dogs, apple crumble, chocolate pudding, and spaghetti bolognese.

Her mother Angela says "I've tried everything to help her lose weight. I give her fresh fruit and vegetables and she gets regular exercise. But kids have a mind of their own and she'll go behind my back,"

Do you mean to say, Angela, that while your back is turned and you are innocently convinced that your daughter is chowing down on celery and training for the London Marathon, she is, in fact, managing to get herself to the local supermarket, buying the necessary ingredients for apple crumble, chocolate pudding and spaghetti bolognese, coming home, preparing these dishes from scratch, and scoffing the lot before you notice anything's amiss?

Smart kid.