A Bexley MP is taking the lead in raising awareness in the taboo around cancer.

People who have been diagnosed with lung cancer, including James Brokenshire, the former Secretary of State for Housing, Communities and Local Government, have shared their views about the thoughtless things people use when they try to talk about their disease.

He said: “I remember when I returned to work, a colleague turned round and said ‘Oh, I didn’t expect you to come back!’ I know they didn’t mean any offence, but it demonstrates the nihilistic perception there is around lung cancer and, therefore, the language associated with it.

“We need to find a better way to discuss cancer, to not be so afraid and uncomfortable about this perceived taboo and talk more openly and less awkwardly.”

This November, Lung Cancer Awareness Month, Roy Castle Lung Cancer Foundation is urging that we listen carefully to what people with lung cancer say and take cues from them to avoid making crass or hurtful comments.

Mr Brokenshire, MP for Old Bexley and Sidcup, was Northern Ireland Secretary until January 2018 when he stood down to have surgery for the disease.

He made a full recovery and was back in Parliament within weeks.

Yet friends and colleagues often struggled to find the right words.

He said, “I remember when I returned to work, a colleague turned round and said ‘Oh, I didn’t expect you to come back!’ I know they didn’t mean any offence, but it demonstrates the nihilistic perception there is around lung cancer and, therefore, the language associated with it.

“Yes, far too many people are still dying of lung cancer; and please note, they are dying, not losing their fight. However, we are now entering an era where more people are able to live with this illness for longer or, as in my case, survive it. "

As Roy Castle Lung Cancer Foundation launched its ‘Follow My Lead‘ campaign, Mr Brokenshire added, “Sadly, many of us will be diagnosed with lung cancer in our lifetime so we need to find a better way to discuss it, to not be so afraid and uncomfortable about this perceived taboo and talk more openly and less awkwardly”.

Psychologist and bestselling author, Sophie Sabbage, is one of ten other lung cancer patients to share some of the clumsy phrases people use when talking to them following their diagnosis.

She said, “When I tell people I have lung cancer, one of the most common responses is ‘I know someone who died of that!’ Then they launch into graphic detail. I know it’s an attempt at empathy but really, that’s not the thing to say”.

Roy Castle Lung Cancer Foundation canvassed people with lung cancer on how they respond to some of the most common words and phrases used about the disease.

They most disliked those terms that conveyed pity, such as ‘I feel so sorry for you’, closely followed by ‘you’re so brave’, ‘a victim’ and ‘lost their fight’. Many also resented having their life-partner described as their ‘carer’.

Sophie Sabbage added, “You see it in the press all the time. David Bowie ‘lost his brave battle’ with cancer. Victoria Wood ‘lost her brave battle’ with cancer. Terry Wogan, Peter Fonda, Leah Bracknell. They all lost their ‘brave battle’.

“Every time I see that, I just want to scream because it turns us into winners and losers. The ones who live win and the ones who die are losers. But there are hundreds and thousands of victories and transformations, changes and shifts and seizing the moment that people with cancer experience.

“If we make it all black and white, winners and losers, then all those victories get discounted.”

Follow My Lead is a campaign with patients at its heart.

We canvassed people living with lung cancer about how they’ve been spoken to since their diagnosis, asking them to share the best and worst things said and the ways in which they’ve been shown support and consideration.

A reminder – the Follow My Lead campaign starts on Friday 1st November.