Zombie apocalypse: The 8 best places in south London and north Surrey to hide from an army of the undead

This Halloween we've pored over our virus plans and undead manuals to suggest to you the best boltholes to see out the oncoming renimated corpse infestation. Got a better one? Let us know.

1/ Hampton Court Palace. Richmond.

Magnificent and regal. The guide book says the majestic palace, on the banks of the Thames, was Henry VIII's favourite residence. And he knew when to wield an axe.

With thick stone walls, turrets, and a ready source of livestock in neighbouring Bushy and Richmond parks you could hole up for a few months at least - and escape by boat if needed.

Just don't get lost in the maze at night. And perhaps best to avoid the Haunted Gallery. Er... was this a good idea?

2/ The Bentall Centre. Kingston.

Are you a bit of a shopaholic? Can't bear the thought of not being able to grab hold of those bargains, even if the world outside is going to pot? 

Shopping centres have always been a great place to watch humanity's impending doom unfold.  And the Bentall Centre in Kingston would fit the bill. 

Security guards everywhere, cool looking end of the world rugged jackets in Superdry. A bountiful library to while away the hours with that Harry Potter book you never got round to reading. Yo sushi.

You can even educate yourself with zombie apocalypse computer games, soundtracks and films.

Sure, the doors are made of glass, but they'll hold won't they?

More Halloween: 26 Halloween and half term activities to spook children, families and adults in south London

3/ Mercedes Benz World. Weybridge. 

Iconic building.

Great cars.

With no-one else on the roads, and fewer annoying tourists, grab a Merc for a spin around the M25 and pick up a few groceries from neighbouring Brooklands Tesco at the same time.

I'm sure those kind-hearted billionaires in exclusive St George's Hill will be welcoming refugees with open arms.

If things get really hairy, try and get the engine whirring on that old Concorde in nearby Brooklands Museum and head to the coast.

4/Up-market Wandsworth. 

Admittedly house prices in Wandsworth are usually a bit steep. But first-time buyers may be able to get a foot on the ladder when civilisation starts to collapse.

A small manse on the edge of Tooting Common? A high-up flat in Putney High Street? Sherlock nemesis Moriarty's old mansion on the edge of Wandsworth Common?

I've always fancied one of the newer homes inside the Royal Victoria Patriotic Building - admittedly a Gothic former asylum for girls orphaned during the Crimean War - but a wonderful Grade II listed backdrop for a battle to the (near) death.

If you get bored of south London luxury head to Wandsworth Prison.

5/ Wimbledon aka Lawn of the dead

It does have a strict dress code. So not everyone would get through the gates, and there would be a long queue outside, probably involving tents and snacks.

But for the chosen few inside those hallowed ivy covered walls, life would be a bit of a strawberry and cream-inflected dream.

Yes, Sue Barker and Tim Henman would make the list. And Cliff Richard, who has proved to be utterly resistant to mortality so far, would try and raise spirits with a few choruses of Summer Holiday.

Broadcast the whole thing on the Beeb as morale boosting entertainment and, if the villagers get out of step, hand out the tennis rackets.

6/ Epsom. Nowhere in Epsom is safe. Get out of Epsom.

Trust us on this one. You may think you are safe in Epsom. No-one is safe in Epsom. Even before the apocalypse.

Not even those hardened drinkers in the Queen Adelaide in Stoneleigh. Not even the teenagers from the Watersedge in Ewell. 

This picture above doesn't even have a zombie hidden in it and it still terrifies the life out of me.

Just get out while you still can.

Box Hill is a short and pleasant cycle ride away, a medium-length panicked jog, or a very slow and tortrous crawl.

But once you're there you'll be high up, with great vantage points, and natural defence points.

Is there really a secret MoD bunker beneath its hulking mass? Now's the perfect time to find out.

If not, there's always those mobile homes on the top and the place that used to sell fish, including that massive one that died. Fun for all the family.

7/ Croydon. 

Croydon will be fine. Just carry on as normal.

But if you're still worried head to Croydon airport.

Seriously, how cool is the airport? 

You can fly away - or just admire the spooky lighting on this plane.

That's if the military don't garrison it all first catching you in the crossfire.

8/ Sutton's Quadrant House.

Looming large in the skyline of south London, Quadrant House's 19 storeys have always struck us as a perfect symbol of freedom.

Home to our very own news organisation the tower has great views of London as far as the Wembley arch and Canary Wharf.

Bolt the bottom doors to keep out the plebs. Block the lifts. Settle back with binoculars and a glass of bubbly and watch the plumes of smoke erupt from all around.

But, watch out for Clive from accounts who has been mumbling something about end of year cutbacks, your colleague passed over for promotion and the girls at Farmers Weekly.

This Halloween your worst enemy may still be be your fellow humans.

Have we missed a trick? Let us know below, with reasons, why you chose your hideaway.