This week a friend told me his flatmate woke up on Tuesday morning exclaiming: “Turn the radio on, they’ve chosen a new Pope.”

Some people are bang up to date with the news aren’t they? So, what do we think of the new Pope? Come on Catholics, let us know.

Is he a reformer? Are things going to change? What the hell (sorry) does it all mean?

If there is one topic to get people writing in and venting their spleens it’s normally religion – whether it’s about a new faith school, mosque, or the “real meaning of Christmas”.

And letters on religion always range from the rational to the stupid – hence they’re always entertaining.

You can’t beat a good atheist v believer spat.

Personally I see the whole Pope thing as being a bit like Doctor Who.

A character who spends his life crossing the globe in a square box before eventually changing into someone else – being constantly regenerated, like John Pertwee into Tom Baker or David Tennant into Matt Smith.

Or in this case, Pope Benedict into Jim Bowen.

Yes, apparently the new Pope looks like the former Bullseye host.

I can’t see it myself, but I’m willing to be bullied into agreeing. You can’t beat a bit of bullying... OK, I’ll stop now.

Apparently he’s a Pope of the people, preferring to take the bus and walk among the crowds.

Hmm, I wonder how long that will last. It can’t be long before some nut tries to do something, well, nutty, and he’s back to sitting in his perspex box again, waving at people who are crying and wetting their knickers at the sheer godliness of it all.

So that’s my in-depth analysis of the Pope.

Next week I’ll be dissecting Islam – while booking my flight to flee the country.