Hebe is a pretty upper class school girl waiting to hear if she has been offered a place at Oxford.
She's witty, intelligent and opinionated.
Her father is Chairman of the Bank of England and her mother is "bored".
But in her spare time she self-harms, pops diets pills, seduces the male staff, watches porn and bullies her classmates.
Welcome to the casually cruel, intensely competitive and emotionally unstable world of the British girls' boarding school, as depicted by writer Milly Thomas.
As 17-year-old Hebe sums up, "We're rich, white, westerners, and we're girls, of course we're fucking miserable. The standards are just too high for us to be anything else."
Molly Vevers (Amelia), Milly Thomas (Hebe) and Kate Craggs (Lydia)
Performed by just three actors on a one-set stage, this 90-minute coming of age drama presents the cynical and often hilarious perspective of the world by privileged young women, as they navigate the shift from the girl's dormitory to the adulthood.
For some, the pressure proves too much and we watch them try to cope by subjecting themselves to self-harm, abusive sex and attempted suicide.
Actresses Molly Vevers (Amelia/Steve) and Kate Craggs (Lydia/Hugo/Broad) seamlessly morph from teenage girls to male teachers and public school boys, showing us just what young women really think about their teachers and peers.
Thomas' interpretation of the 21st-century young woman's psyche is as refreshing as Lena Dunham's New York TV drama 'Girls'.
Shattering the Kate Middleton stereotype of the charming, serene upper-class English girl, Thomas shows this mysterious species might actually like orgasms, History and can even be lesbians.
Don't tell the boys though.
A First World Problem; Theatre 503, 503 Battersea Park Road; until Saturday, July 12; 7.45pm; £10-£12; theatre503.com
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