Transformers: Dark of the Moon 3D: Reviewed (From Your Local Guardian)

Transformers: Dark of the Moon 3D: Reviewed

8:39am Wednesday 29th June 2011

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Warning. If you are planning to see this film at the cinema make sure you go to the loo first. It’s very very long, two hours 34 minutes to be precise. I don’t think that Michael Bay has ever heard the expression ‘less is more’.

To be fair, Bay isn’t known for his thought-provoking movies and storyline structures but I guess the film does just what it says on the tin. Anyone who has seen the South Park Imaginationland episodes will know that a Bay movie is very “Raaaar!” and “Eeeyowl!” So we can expect very loud explosions and things smashing into buildings and lines such as “You may lose faith in us but never in yourselves”

The film opens with a clever mixture of actors and live newsreel showing the space race from 1961 leading to the Apollo Moon landing in 1969 which apparently was all a huge cover-up to camouflage the real mission for Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin investigating the crash landing of a Cybertronian spacecraft which fled the Transformers home planet during a fierce battle between the good Autobots and the evil Decepticons (I knew it!). Can the Autobots reach the craft before their sworn enemies get the chance to discover its secret cargo and rule the Earth?

Our hero Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf) is back and works out the Decepticons plan and is helped by his new girlfriend, the very English Carly, played by newcomer Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. (This femme fatale is an ex-model who has very limited acting experience and it shows.)

It’s a shame there are too many repetitive fights and action sequences that go on far too long. When we do actually get to the final climatic battle it comes as a bit of a whimper rather than a Kapow!, particularly as we’ve just been exposed to 180 minutes of the same. There’s also a ridiculous scene where the live action gung-ho good guys are being thrown around a high-rise building that’s in the process of falling over that seems to go on for ever and Sam has not only one very close call but I'm hardly ther target audience. The two young guys in their 20s sitting next me nearly exploded with hysterical laughter at every corny quip and every time one of the regular characters appeared on screen.

However, I’m not sure exactly who the Transformer franchise is aimed at? I fondly remember the first film, the animated cartoon version Transformers the Movie (U) made in 1986 which was released a year before Ms Huntington Whiteley was born. The cartoon was shamelessly aimed at kids who had already bought into the Transformers toy craze. But, 25 years on, the latest film is now a 12A certificate because there are, and I quote, “prolonged sequences of sci-fi action violence, mayhem and destruction, and some sexuality and innuendo”.

Visually the film looks brilliant and the special effects are excellent, although I’m not sure how many more times we have to see woodlice-shaped flying machines hovering over another American city skyline with their Doc Ock-style arms and dangly tentacles.

It was nice to hear the voice talents of Leonard Nimoy as Sentinel Prime. Nimoy also voiced a character in the 1986 movie as did Canadian actor Peter Cullen who reprieves the role that he made his own... none other than Octimus Prime himself, probably the coolest robot in movie history.

Don’t worry, if you are a Transformers fan you will absolutely love this film and watch out for some big name star appearances. But don’t say I didn’t warn you about the wee wee break!

Also what happened to the ‘Robots in disguise’ theme tune?

Rating: 2 out of 5

In cinemas from June 29