I don’t watch soap operas and the little story that will unfold here may just reflect that.

Picture Dirty Den and Angie Watts sat in the Queen Vic, he with a beer on the go and she with a pint of gin and tonic in her hand.

“Den, I’ve had enough. I want a divorce and I want to buy the Vic too,” slurs Angie.

“That’s all right, love, you can go just as soon as you give me the ’undred grand I want for my share o’ the pub,” replies our hero.

In walks Phil Mitchell, spying an opportunity to expand his business empire from the Arches and into hospitality.

“Did I hear you wanted a ’undred grand for the Vic and your missus?” he says.

“Not quite,” replies Den, “but you’re closer than you fink.”

“All right, how about 50 grand for the pub and I’ll kill Angie?” Phil replies.

Voices are raised and Ian Beale, on hearing the dealings out in Albert Square, spies an opportunity.

He pokes his head through the door and says: “Hundred grand and me chippy and I’ll take the Vic and Angie off your hands?”

Angie starts to snore...

As I said, I don’t do soap operas, but you get the idea.

The last time Brentford got involved with a tug-of-war over one of their employees, they eventually let Adam Forshaw walk on their own terms.

Few players leave Griffin Park and go on to bigger and better things.

Andy Sinton, Dean Holdsworth and Jay Tabb are among those that have, but for each one of them there is a Harry Forrester or a Simon Moore, who have seen once promising careers stall.

In my story, Angie Watts eventually leaves Walford for a life on the Costa Del Sol with a used car salesman, and Den eventually comes a cropper in the canal.

Let’s hope selling off the crown jewels at Griffin Park does not end in a similar way.