Sibling rivalry (From Your Local Guardian)

Sibling rivalry

11:11am Tuesday 22nd April 2008 in

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I'm almost a perfectionist. Not quite Monica from friends, but I like things done a certain way.

I can't work in a messy room and my mood is usually dictated by the state of my wardrobe. I place my clothes into different categories and there's no way you'll ever find stripes by spots.

I'm organised: if my family go on vacation, I like my own case, carefully packed and my own hand baggage, with all my essentials, and this is all done way in advance.

I'm not that highly-strung but I know my family would laugh if I attempted to label myself 'laid-back'.

'A little sibling rivalry did nobody any harm, but constantly comparing yourself to your sibling can be demeaning and pointless. As clichéd as it sounds, to be yourself is all that you can be. '

My sister is the opposite. She'll chuck a case together in a matter of minutes and doesn't stress over whether something is missing or not.

The floor of her bedroom is barely visible and she can do an A* essay whilst at the hairdressers.

It doesn't seem to matter that she knows where none of her clothes are - she can put a good outfit together effortlessly.

I still remember my sister during her IB exams - arguably one of the most stressful periods of her life, and I never saw her flinch.

My sister craves for a dramatic life of ups and downs and merry-go-rounds. She likes to believe she is Marilyn Monroe reincarnated and craves Old Hollywood Glamour.

She's always striving for something bigger and better and is in constant competition with herself to be the best she can be. I'm similar in that retrospect, but I'm (dare I say it) more realistic, perhaps?

As much as I'd like to go down as the Audrey Hepburn or Marilyn Monroe of the 21st century, I don't see that happening anytime soon. Not that I want to settle for an 'ordinary' life, or anything.

Our determination to succeed in life in someway or another is probably the key to our closeness. We have a mutual understanding of each other's needs and wants - the desire to be accepted but above all, the overwhelming need to achieve and accomplish.

However, there is a rivalry between us (albeit subtle) suggesting that it's not just ourselves we're in competition with.

I've probably always compared myself in some way or another to my sister. With a two year age gap, it's only natural that other people have done the same over the years. Not only do we apparently look very similar, it is not outlandish to suggest that aspects of our personality are the same.

Despite our differing views of reality (I'm realistic, she's an 'airhead'), we have similar interests and desires for the future.

Academic achievement is a common area for comparisons to be made - I happen to have one of the most academic specimens on the planet for a sister, and her immense intellectual ability appears to be effortless.

I will not deny that her commendable accomplishments (both in and outside the classroom) have in some way or another driven me to want to do better. Though my parents have neither pressured nor expected me to accomplish the same, I can't help but compare myself.

Our competitiveness also stems to all things entirely superficial, such as who has better hair, better clothes and who is the sportier out of possibly the two least physically able members of the public.

I remember feeling slightly bitter when my sister decided to study English literature at university in preference of medicine, and went on to express a desire to be a newsreader. That was my dream long before hers!

Likewise, it frustrates my sister when I happen to dress in a similar way to her (I'll admit, sometimes I do recreate one of her outfits, but she's only mimicking something out of Grazia or Vogue anyway!). Due to our similarities, we both feel the need to try harder to define our individual identity.

Being younger and a little shyer, I used to have the fear that I'll merely follow in my sister's footsteps (if that!) and that my accomplishments will be but a feeble imitation of her achievements.

However, over the years I have learnt that despite our competitiveness with each other, we are on different paths and we don't need to prove to anyone that we are different people.

A little sibling rivalry did nobody any harm, but constantly comparing yourself to your sibling can be demeaning and pointless. As clichéd as it sounds, to be yourself is all that you can be.

I don't like feeling envious or jealous of my sister - above all I want to thank her for setting such high standards. Though they are not mine to necessarily compete against, they set the bar high.

As a tribute to Mhairi, I feel it fitting to end with a quote by Marilyn herself: "It would be wonderful to enjoy success without seeing envy in the eyes of those around you."