Are you as fit as Wayne Rooney? (From Your Local Guardian)

If I had extra money to buy fresh fruit and veg eferyday I would but truth is on a budget the avrage hard working family can't afford a truly healthy diet on normal wages. I don't drink or smoke, never eat fried foods, and I walk everywhere but I can't afford a diet of really good fresh foods due to having to rely mostly on frozen veg and meat on a budget tighter than Katie Prices face. If we all made good city job money then it would be easier to do. This little idea is cute nonethenless. p.s. Many footballers aren't as healthy as they appear, many drink like fish and convort with all sorts of diseases if you get my drift. They can run for the devil but they don't always do as they should off the field.

So instead of being a super-fit athletic hero, we have to be martyrs to poverty, slowly being killed by the fact we can't afford proper food.
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Of course, you could fiddle your benefits and/or tax refunds and/or insurance claims and/or credit card application forms - after all, suppose for a moment you get caught. Is life in the slammer really any worse?
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Alternatively, you could join the armed forces. Oh but wait - there's a fitness test.
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So it's a bit of a catch-22 situation. Joining the army isn't a solution to the problem of not being able to keep yourself fit on civvy street.
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But what if absolutely *no-one* made the grade? Do you think any self-respecting modern day nation state is just going to give up on forming and maintaining an armed force and a police force completely, simply because none of their citizens are fit enough?
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Of course they're not. Then again, they might just make do with hiring mercenaries, like they did in the good old days.
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So much for the lament of the "average hard working family". You don't become a hero by being average. If you did, then no-one would be interested in football in the first place.
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After all, what's the point of watching 22 average hard working men kicking a ball about a field?