1. I will never queue for a restaurant that doesn’t accept bookings. There’s now a proliferation of these places that insist you stand in the rain for an hour before handing over mega-cash for a designer pizza or burger. You want my money, you take my reservation. Or, in words even a restaurateur can understand, you work for me, I don’t work for you.

2. While we’re on restaurant queues, the hipsters have taken over a street in my suburb. Young trendies will stand in line for hours to be allowed to sit at distressed school desks and pay £15.95 for artisanal kimchi (Google it – I had to), bone tea and garlic porridge. Thank the great God of bacon that we’ve still a decent greasy spoon left – mine’s double egg, sausage, bubble and chips.

3. Stephen Lewis, the fine actor who played permanently perturbed Inspector Blake in the classic 1970s sitcom On the Buses has finally taken the last bus to the cemetery. A stalwart, too, of Last Of The Summer Wine, Lewis’ legacy will sustain long after the cries of “I ’ate you, Butler!” have died down. Bye-bye, Blakey, thanks for the laughs.

4. We adults long ago lost our coffee shops to buggy-propelling yummy mummies and their ghastly, screeching offspring, but now we’ve lost our pubs too. The pub used to be a safe haven where you could escape kids, but now the invasion has begun. Sunday lunchtime in my local, wretched little Olivers and Chloes run riot while their couldn’t-care-less parents study their smartphones or observe their Observers. Get back to Starbucks and leave pubs to the grown-ups.

5. The nanny state is alive and well. I went to my local pharmacy for paracetamol. The following conversation ensued: Assistant: “Are they for you?” Me: “No, they’re for my wife’s birthday. Do you do gift-wrapping?” Much as I love being questioned about my ailments by a 17-year-old stranger, I am perfectly capable of judging what treatment is best for me, thank you very much. IAN FREEMAN

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