Being tolerant, understanding and grateful, and ‘doing as the wife says’, are the keys to a happy marriage, according to a husband and wife of 70 years.

There are 12 couples – including residents and staff – at the Royal Alfred Seafarers’ Society in Banstead. Between them they have lived more than 400 years of married life.

They have shared their advice for marital bliss to coincide with Valentine’s Day.

John and Joan Hatfield have been married for 70 years after meeting in 1947 at a Valentine’s Day dance at their local golf club in Somerset. Mr Hatfield proposed later that year and they married shortly after, celebrating with a two week honeymoon in Bournemouth.

Mrs Hatfield puts her happy marriage down to not taking things to heart. She could understand and empathise with her husband’s career as a Royal Navy officer because she served in the Navy herself for almost three years.

She added: “I love my husband’s resilience and ability to adapt quickly to any situation the most. Of course we’ve had our challenges, but we always remain positive and weigh the gravity of the situation before we jump to conclusions or say things we might regret."

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Residents Jeanne and Noel Robinson were married for 74 years after becoming friends as children in their home town of Clacton-on-Sea. The pair married during the war, in 1942, in the village church of Farleigh in Surrey and enjoyed a two-day honeymoon before Mr Robinson had to return to sea.

He served the country bravely in the Royal Navy for nearly 30 years, and even took part in the Battle of the Atlantic – the longest continuous military campaign of the Second World War.

“Long-distance relationships are challenging,” Mrs Robinson said, “but we ensured our communication remained strong as we were sending each other telegrams two to three times a week.

“The main goal of a lifelong commitment is supporting each other so it is important to show tolerance and understanding for your partner’s circumstances. I used to live each day for when my husband would return home, which kept me going.”

The couple, who have two sons, moved in to the Royal Alfred Seafarers’ Society where they enjoyed the remaining six months of their long and happy marriage together until Mr Robinson passed away recently.

The top ten tips to a happy marriage from the Royal Alfred Seafarers’ Society residents and staff:

  • Be tolerant
  • Be understanding
  • Be grateful for what you have
  • Life is too short – don’t take things to heart
  • Don’t allow separate career paths to cause your partner and you to drift apart
  • Be generous – everybody has to give
  • Let everything happen naturally around you, don’t force things
  • Treat each other with respect
  • Be best friends before anything else
  • ‘Do as the wife says'

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