The new series of Gogglebox was on cracking form with a look at everything from Gary Lineker’s moustache to a public beheading.

And it’s safe to say the show has become embedded in the British psyche.

So get ready: you’re about to read tweets from people on TV watching people on TV. What has your life become?

EastEnders

The aftermath of EastEnders’ 30th anniversary – and the “who killed Lucy” storyline – made for gripping viewing among the Goggleboxers. Even before it began they were relishing a whole 30 minutes of live acting.

A cruel comment was passed on Jane (and it had nothing to do with her warped morals). Apparently she looked like a certain Shrek character.

Everyone on Gogglebox was getting very teary – something of a nationwide phenomenon it seems.

But some viewers were just happy they got to see the Beales’ lives unravel all over again.

Child Birth: All or Nothing

This show followed a number of women through the natural – but apparently horrendously painful – motions of childbirth. Initially there was a lot of support.

Even though some of the birthing choices were a bit off-menu.

Then the placenta appeared. At first it caused confusion.

Then it caused sartorial confusion.

Then the nation was confronted with an actual real genuine placenta in a bucket – and lots of people just couldn’t cope.

Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night Take Away

The cheeky Geordie chappies were back for another series of their weekend romp through inane silliness. First let’s get the traditional confusion between Anthony and Declan out of the way.

This quote sums up how most of the nation feels – but perhaps didn’t realise until now.

Grouchy retired teacher Leon did not agree. He thought they were unfunny failures with “the same mental age as the children” on the show. But there was one thing we can all agree on:

(Yeah that’s a reference back to the child birth programme…)

Four Rooms

This was some antiques show (but not Antiques Roadshow, so we’re kind of unsure what place it has on British television). Anyway, the main bone of contention was a weathered block of wood purported to be from Admiral Nelson’s flagship the HMS Victory.

But how did they know it’s from the Battle of Trafalgar?

That’s right, carved in the back. But forget the date, some Gogglebox viewers needed a few more basic facts clearing up.

So, after all that, was the price right?

Match of the Day

The legendary football review show is in its 50th year. And whether you love or hate football, there seems to be one thing about it carved into the British people’s very genes.

Leon (“grumble, grumble, grumble…”) made it quite clear he wasn’t a fan of Gary Lineker. Twitter had a few issues as well.

Then Jose Mourinho was compared to meerkats. Which we thought was very unfair on the meerkats.

Oscars

First we  established that posh Steph really loves the Oscars. “I’d love to go to the Oscars, just to see these exotic animals in their very own zoo,” she gushed, necking another bottle of something or other.

The highlight of the awards was Eddie Redmayne’s speech. Although it was safe to say that not all the Goggleboxers quite knew who he was.

His speech looked great though.

Wolf Hall

The finale of this Tudor version of House of Cards ended with (*MASSIVE PLOT SPOILER*) the beheading of Anne Boleyn. It got super dramatic, and all the Goggleboxers were agog with dread – or hiding their faces from the grimly moving scenes.

Some, however, questioned why she’d turned up for the chop at all.

While the lads in Brighton seemed not to have pinpointed the priorities when you’re getting beheaded.

Amidst all the drama, Leon had wandered off into the kitchen for a snack. Disaster ensued, and some Gogglebox viewers were panicked by the split focus of event.

So there you go, that was Gogglebox. And it seems like everyone enjoyed it… except this poor girl’s mum perhaps.