The old soldier, now in his mid-80s, puts his "green" bag on his shopping trolley.
Ignoring the shrapnel still in his leg, he heads off for the dump.
Dodging traffic wardens and road humps but unable to evade cameras - they're for his protection - he makes the main road.
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Passing the monolithic police station, he pauses for breath. "Big enough to house the TA", he muses. "Can't loiter, will rest at grandiose bus shelter. Oh dear, the seats are wet."
Reaching the A217 a person steps from behind a speed camera station, health and safety, better weigh that bag, can't be too careful, in kilos of course.
On crossing the road he's met by the environment officer, just checking contamination, then the finance department; not undercutting the council, sir? Helping out an old neighbour?
The blood is now coursing through his veins, it's brought back memories of his youth, getting through enemy lines, fighting for freedom. Pain in his leg is forgotten, through the haze of car exhausts he can see the entrance, at last.
Just a moment sir, trade and industry, there must be something I can stop you for.
He's made it! Can I see your ID sir? "Sorry, I forgot," said the old soldier.
"Then you'll have to take it home."
"But just one bag."
"Sorry," hissed the gate person, "camera's watching me all day."
Rubbing his leg the old boy does a painful three-point turn back towards the A217. Just as he nears the junction, the wheel goes down a pothole, shooting bag and contents on to the road.
Health and safety and environment pounce. Gotcha! Fly tipping, is that now a custodial offence? Where can we find a policeman?
While we're about it, if someone puts a beer bottle in with the council's champagne ones, could we charge them with pollution?
Posted by: Mark Wass, SUtton on 11:13am Thu 8 May 08
It is worth pointing out that even if this soldier had taken his ID with him he would still have been turned away because walking refuse onto the Re Use and Recycle site is not allowed.
It is worth pointing out that even if this soldier had taken his ID with him he would still have been turned away because walking refuse onto the Re Use and Recycle site is not allowed.
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